More Precious Than Silver and Gold
Posted: Friday, March 19, 2010
by Mark Parsec
Wordcasters
I don't know where I would have been today if it hadn't been for the grace and mercy of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. But, I can imagine three most likely locations... prisons, insane asylums or the grave. More than likely I would have been dead.
I think of my life before Christ kinda like this... I was among the walking dead. My life was centered upon sex, drugs and alcohol; and that is no life at all. I was a walking, talking example of a person without a soul. I was existing, but I was not alive! I had no morals, no empathy and no regard whatsoever for anyone other than myself... and I was absolutely miserable with me. I loathed myself. Gee... I wonder why?!
How had I ever become that person drivien by my addictions and compulsive behaviors? I thought I was in control of my life, but that was the furtherest thing from the truth. My addictions controlled me. I was a slave to hedonism, the pursuit of pleasure, and my motto was, " Eat, drink and be merry - I'm never gonna die! " But, I was already dead.
What had happened to me? Wasn't I an innocent child at one time in my life? Maybe... maybe not.
You see, I was a " baby-bottle " alcoholic. The old booze in the baby bottle was a wonderful pacifier, so I'm told. The first time I ever walked my father and my grandfather got me drunk. I can remember watching football on T.V. with my Dad when I was a toddler... he had his booze and I had mine. That was the first time I remember staggering off and passing out. I had also been molested from a very young age. I know I lost my virginity before I turned five... to my mother. You could say I was a sex boy toy.
Innocence? I scarcely knew the meaning of the word. Alcohol, drugs, sex and violence filled my life like milk and bread.
But, there comes a time in every person's life when they must reflect on who they are, what they have become, what they have done with their lives. By the time I finally looked at my life I was more than 40 years old. That is a lot of living in vice and addiction. I really didn't know anything else. But, I knew this... I was empty inside. I was existing... but I wasn't " living " .
The problem was I was trapped. I didn't know any other way to exist. I had tried to quit drinking and drugging more times throughout my life than I could remember... without success. I just figured I would live that way until the day I died. I was hopeless.
But, you see, sometimes God's grace comes charging in when you least expect it. That is how He came to me. Oh, I had sought Him on and off my whole life. But, He always seemed so distant and the experiences so fleeting that I just figured God was a figment of my imagination. Besides, I didn't have time for Him. I was too busy chasing the gods of sex, drugs and alcohol.
But, as I said, sometimes God's grace comes charging in. When I had hit my bottom, when I had ruined my life to the utmost, when I had destroyed my reputation, my mind, my body, and my emotions... When I had given up all hope and had no reason for living... He came.
Have you ever brought soda bottles in for their redemption value? When I was a kid we used to go around collecting them in our wagon. Those ugly, dirty old bottles that people threw away were valuable... But, only if they were brought back to their creator. Then, they would be cleaned up and filled back up just like new!
When I was dirty, worthless, empty and thrown away, God found value in me. Redemption value! He recovered me from my hopeless state of mind and body and cleaned me up with the blood of Jesus Christ. Then He filled me up with His Holy Spirit to be used in His hands for His purpose and His glory. That is what recovery is all about.
Today, I have hope for the future only because of what our Lord and Savior has done for me. I realize today that my life is not about me. It is about God. It is about the people that God puts in my life. It is about being an instrument in God's hand to find those discarded bottles of people, so they can be brought back to the Creator, so He can clean them up and fill them up with His love and His Spirit!
Maybe you feel discarded and hopeless. Perhaps you are just barely existing and you're struggling with an addiction or two. Don't give up. Turn to the Lord for He is not far and you may discover that He can do for you what you can't do for yourself. Let Him teach you how to find your value in Him! Because to God you are more precious than silver and gold!
Let God fill you up to overflowing!
Marc,You are a miracle of grace.MorrisHi Morris,
Thank you... God has been so good to me. Today, I am blessed with a wonderful wife, a dog, and a clean and sober life. AND... I get to pastor as a minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Just one life will soon be past... only what's done for Christ will last.
Blessings to you!
What a testimony of Gods grace. He had and still has a plan for your life!Hi Kathleen,
Thank you for your comments. May He continue to bless you always.
Yes Mark Jesus has been responsible for taking a lot of people out of life of sina and debauchery. You might consider reading my story called A Story of How I Came To Be Me In The Helping Profession. It is good when people open up about their pasts. It often causes people to see you in a whole new lightHi John,
I believe transparency is absolutely essential for the growing church. I look forward to reading your article. God bless you.
Hi Mark,Never mind the past, the terrible childhood (I'm truly sorry)for Jesus came for the wounded and sick just as a patient needs to see a doctor. It is about the reborn that matters most. God loves you and your family !HildaHi Hilda,
Thank you for your kind comments. I am reminded of the story of Joseph... sold as a slave, accused of a crime he did not commit, sent to prison... only to be set in a high position by pharaoh's side. He could have complained about all of his hardships, and blamed his brothers, but instead he said, "That which you meant for harm, God meant for good." That which the devil meant for harm in my life God meant for good! The hardship in my life brought me to the foot of the cross that I may be by Jesus' side.
Just one life will soon be past, only what's done for Christ will last.
God bless you!
Suffering makes a fine midwife as she delivers forbearance and compassion hitherto unimaginable.
One and two make three. One and two were dodgy but three is great.
I would argue that you got yourself better all by yourself . The blue print in you that is connected to the divine in you was sufficiently strong to shake off the dark.
Carol
Hi Carol,
My blueprint was one of self-destruction. My transformation was the result of an epiphany. Thank you for your comments.
Mark
Sometimes in life we think that we are the only ones going thru something. I can relate with a lot of your article. I was never molested but I was exposed to a lot of unclean thoughts as a young person. My addiction started a long time before smoking crack cocaine. I was addicted to pornography. When I was delivered from drugs, I was addicted to porn. I married my current wife and tried to introduce it into our marriage. One day, my wife said to me, doesn't God know what you are doing when you watch that stuff? I was committing adultry with my eyes. I am a minister and was committing sins against God. I prayed to God and repented for my sins. The porn had to go! I pray daily for God to remove the desire to look at some other woman's naked body. We all need prayer. Addiction comes in many forms. Pray for me and my family.Hi Arthur,
I appreciate your comments and will continue to pray for you and your family.
Thanks so very much for sharing things that must have been difficult to share (much less endure!) Great article which points us all towards the only hope there is - our Lord Jesus Christ! My only regret is that I cannot WARP this....Sending you and Michelle an e-hug! MarijoHi Marijo, It is always great to hear from you. Thank you for your wonderful comments. Michelle and I send you our love. God bless you, Mark.
I am so sorry I didn't get to your article sooner...what a wonderful story of hope and inspiration! I was moved to tears when reading about your upbringing and then how God found you and redeemed you. I too have had some dark times but I know that the ONLY way I got through them was because God was there watching over me. I didn't even really think about Him very much at those times but later I realized He had been there all along. I really like the short story about Footprints-I'm sure you know it. Says it all, doesn't it? God bless, MarcHi Terri,
Thank you for your wonderful comments. Yes, the Footprints poem is wonderful. He carries us, even when we don't realize it. Bless you!
Mark Parsec
Thank you for this article. I can relate to a lot of what you have been through. The only way to true and total healing is through our Savior Jesus Christ.Hi Joyce,
Thank you for your thoughtful comments. May He continue to lead you and bless you.
Mark
What a transformation! Your courage to share is remarkable. I think everyone loves you even more than we did before because of it! God bless you, Mark. You are making a difference. Many of us carry our parent's shame and guilt around, but we shouldn't. No one can help where, how, or when they come into this world nor to whom. It's what we do when we're finally on our own that counts.Hi Carol,
Thank you for your warm hearted comments. You are a wonderful inspiration to me and to many people. I appreciate you!
God bless you,
Mark
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