Home » Father Time in Critical Condition

 

This, just in... Father Time is in critical condition and is expected to pass away in just a matter of days.

 

Yes, Father Time, known by all, loved by many, hated by others, is in critical condition. It is not expected that he will make it into the New Year. Initial prognosis indicates that an irreversible advanced aging process is contributing to a condition that will inevitably result in his death.

 

Word of Father Time's terminal condition has spread like wildfire across the Internet, television, newspapers and magazines. Not surprisingly, untold billions of people will be gathering internationally to observe his fateful hour. No doubt, some will be mourning his death. However, a secret survey conducted by this author has revealed that a vast majority of those interviewed will actually be celebrating the occasion.

 

Father Time was born on January 1st, 2009. He is best known for his reputation of marching on, in spite of all efforts to the contrary. He has also been noted for his punctuality, precision and consistency. The events of his brief life will be marked down in the annals of history for all generations. One of the most controversial issues of his life was his tenacious belief in reincarnation. Whether or not this will be vindicated only time will tell.

 

A memorial service has tentatively been scheduled for midnight, December 31st, 2009.

 

A comment section has been included in this article for those of you who would like to say a few words in memory of Father Time. May he rest in peace.